National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE
“Past the Pulpit” is a space where I hope to be able to share some thoughts and to continue the conversation(s) we are having as a congregation. Sometimes these conversations might be uncomfortable for us. I pray and hope though that we can commit to honestly engage with each other respectfully and with open hearts to listen. I pray and hope too that we foster a community where we can hold space for challenging and difficult conversations — with a deep commitment to the unity that we have because Jesus loves us.
A few weeks ago, on Oct. 15th, we started a HARD conversation. A conversation some of us might never have had before in church — or at least not in church above a whisper. We read a really challenging (REALLY challenging) scripture selection. Judges 19:22-30 and we NAMED (some of) the violence that is in the text. We NAMED violence in the month of October because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And in a moment in time when we know of many instances of sexual assault & harassment in high profile cases it is important to NAME some of the realities of our context.
There are so many statistics that can be named & on that Sunday we began by sharing that 1 in 3 women will experience intimate partner violence. 1 in 3. Think about that for a minute — think about all the women you know. Divide that number by 3 and (number of women/3 = ?) that is the number of survivors you likely know right now.¹ After this Sunday — after this sermon — something happened in the following week — were surprised to read this HORRIFIC scripture selection and then people kept on talking, wrestled with what to do, asked questions and were challenged by this evil and this sin! This wrestling we are doing is life giving — this NAMING we are doing is important. The scripture said,
Consider it, take counsel, and speak out.
As Halloween — a night when some might get scared– comes to a close and we look to welcome November — we can’t forget the things that are scary & that literally keep some of our sisters & brothers up all the time — the violence that is around us, the violence that is domestic violence. So, what are we to do? Let’s keep on wrestling. One way we wrestle is learning some of the facts & statistics. Here are some FACTs. Maybe you’d like to learn some of what Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence are doing — check them out HERE. Or maybe you’d like to participate in “Thursdays in Black” where as an act of solidarity you choose to wear black on Thursdays naming your desire and commitment to a world without rape or violence. Perhaps most important for us all is we continue to conversation, that we prayerfully listen (& believe) those who share the stories of violence that they live. And let us never be satisfied with a world where the sin of domestic violence and gender-based violence is a reality.
And let us join again in this prayer (& may it be our prayer not only on Domestic Violence Awareness Day & not only in October — but may it be our prayer until thanks be to God we need it no longer!):
We are the church. We offer ourselves to you, O God, our creator. We offer our hands.
May we use them to extend a healing touch to comfort sisters and brothers and children, youth and seniors who are afraid. We offer our eyes and ears.
May we see and hear the signs and stories of violence so that all may have someone with them in their pain and confusion. We offer our hearts and our tears.
May the hurt and sorrow of the abused echo within us. We offer our own stories of violence.
May we be healed, as we embrace each other. We offer our anger.
Make it a passion for justice. We offer all our skills.
Use our gifts to end violence. We offer our faith, our hope, our love.
May our encounters with violence bring us closer to you and to each other. In every congregation of every faith, victims, survivors and abusers sit in our pews.
Some are listening for words of recognition, understanding, comfort and healing, hoping to hear that the church stands with them in their suffering. All need to hear a clear message that violence in our homes is against the will of God.
Our silence makes us complicit to the suffering. This Domestic Violence Awareness Day, let us make our churches places where the gospel of wholeness is heard and lived out. We offer our prayers and our peace in that journey.
All this we ask through Jesus Christ, who knows the pain of violence. Amen.²
¹From Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence (& also) Sojourners email, “Tell Your Faith Leaders: Speak Out For Survivors of Violence” sent on Sept. 19, 2017.
²Prayer offered at Service of Awareness about domestic violence (SEE HERE)